Space To Breathe

I need to find the space

I can’t find any place

To free my mind from

What is inside of me,

Of my constant nightmare

That has now come to life

This thing that I have been

Dreading for so long has

Finally come and I can't

Find the space to breathe

Someone help me out of this

Place that I have been hiding

Because for this entire time I have been lying and telling everyone that I am fine

Someone hold me, shake me, move me from this place I have

Been hiding because the more time passes and

The more I have been alone

The more I feel

insane

Hush Little One

Roaring thunder coming in waves

She tries so hard to not be afraid

A shudder and a squeal she holds on tight

To make it through this storm tonight

Tears in her eyes and fear in her heart

She wishes she weren’t apart

From her sister she loved so dearly

But now gone she sees clearly

As the storm rages and the lightning flashes

She hopes that all this pain soon passes

Still so young, so alone, defenseless

She lays there in her bed feeling senseless

The world is too cruel a place for someone so sweet

So she closes her eyes and begs for a retreat

The Blue-Eyed Man

A blue-eyed man has caught my eye

But this is no ordinary blue

The color is beyond anything I could write into words

I could make every cliche reference and it still wouldn’t be enough

I can’t help how I feel when I look into these blue eyes

The blue-eyed man doesn’t feel the same

I’ve tried but never successful

I’d like to sit and wallow a while

Darkness feels like home

But the blue-eyed man won’t let me

He sees the sorrow and makes me laugh again

Makes me feel ok again, that maybe the world isn’t such a terrible place

I just wish I could tell the blue eyed man that I will be eternally grateful

My Childhood Escape

Sitting in the field
wind blowing on my face now
seems so long ago

always teased in school
I never knew how to cope
I felt so alone

my sancutary
that field was my home
hiding in tall grass

I never fit in
did not dress like the others
they called me bad things

the woods I played in
and in those trees I called home
no one could hurt me

we were very poor then
sometimes went without dinner
no one understood

today I look back
and not much has changed since then
but that field is gone

They Don't Hear The Screaming

no one understands the turmoil that goes on inside
they think of me as crazy, unorganized or lazy
they don't hear the screaming

people often tell me to slow down and think
they say that I need to focus more
they don't hear the screaming

no one believes me when I tell them that I am trying my best
they say that I need to work on being better
they don't hear the screaming

people say that I need to chill and relax
they think that I am doing this on purpose
they don't hear the screaming

no one understands what goes on in my head
they don't realize anxiety is taking over my brain
they don't hear the screaming

SHE

She gets up every morning and gets ready for work

She pulls herself out of bed and shakes off the previous day

She puts on a smile and greets the world with her graces

She makes it through the day with a twinkle in her eye

She gets home and she loses her composure

She takes in everything he says

She loses hope that her life will ever be better, that anything will ever change

She hears him tell her over and over that he doesn't want anything more

She lets him tell her that she isn’t worthy of anyone's affection

She fears that she doesn’t deserve love

She knows there is no future here with him but she is to afraid of being alone

She sees you and she is ashamed of the butterflies

She wants to be near you and feel like a human again

She cant help but to see if maybe somewhere out there is something more than this

She is tired of how he treats her

She lays there and lets him do what he wants to her

She just doesnt have it in her to fight it

She is broken and she is just looking for a way out

She cries when you’re not looking

She lets you see her at her best when she’s always feeling at her worst